count me in and then count me out

The Waking Hours



i'm very tired right now. not even sure what to write. yep. that tired.it's been raining off and on for two days. that, and a bit cooler than last week. i think it's got me down.

a few years ago i had a job working the grill/snack bar at the local public golf course. very small, sort of run down place, run by the county park district. i served a lot of burgers, fries, and beer.

while i worked there i met one of the local wing-nuts, a woman named gloria. i have no idea what gloria's madness is all about, but i can tell you the woman is definitely not operating from the same dimension as the rest of us.

she seems to wander from one local establishment to the next, buying things and freaking out the employees (and customers) she comes into contact with.

she can start out talking to you in a very normal and polite tone. but, no matter what you do or say, something is going to happen that will piss her off. she doesn't usually get loud about it, just pesters you to death and contradicts herself, changing her mind...it can go and on.

it goes something like this:
gloria: i'd like a burger with everything on it. and make sure you cook it well. you can get sick from undercooked meat. and i'll have a mountain dew also.
you serve her what she ordered.
gloria: thanks.
she sits down and starts to eat. then she stops. and comes back to the counter.
gloria: this burger is overcooked. i can't eat it at all.
you fix another one, medium rare this time. she thanks you and goes back to her table. and then she comes back.
gloria: why does this have onions on it? i can't eat onions, they upset me. and they're so strong i can't just take them off, the whole burger tastes like onions now.
another burger bites the dust. a new burger is prepared and served. she's content to sit down again. for ten whole senconds.
gloria: is this mountain dew, i don't want this. i ordered and iced tea.
she gets her iced tea. sits down again. another ten seconds pass and she's back.
gloria: this burger is undercooked.

...you get the idea, now? and, of course she will tell you you are the one to blame. you're just not listening. on and on.

i hadn't seen her for awhile and a few days ago ran into her at the local gas station. she was getting coffee. i was talking to the guy at the counter. and in the middle of my sentence she just hollers out whatever crazy question she had. something about the flavored creamers. everyone froze. and turned. and stared at her. it really was just too funny, but i guess you had to be there.

i'm sure the guy at the counter knew her, you could see it from the frightened look in his eyes. he knew what he was in for. she would be there for half an hour asking questions and complaining. all for a cup of coffee.

here's to gloria and all the other sweet, harmless, crazies out there in the world. they make my life a little more entertaining.